Hi Page Turners,
Do you feel anxious after graduation or without purpose or even depressed because you don't know how to get out of this uncertainty feeling? Well so do I. Our life is planned from the day we go nursery all the way to finishing our A-Levels to eventually go on to do either apprenticeship/training or university. In my case it was university what they don't plan for you or tell you is what happens after you have graduated well... .
I graduated. Four years of essays and deadlines and research and referencing. Four years of tutorials and seminars and lectures. Four years of online meetings and copious amount of note-taking and procrastination. Four years of thinking will I be able to do it and I can’t wait until I have submitted my finals. Well four years later it is all over and if I could go back to my first year self I would tell her you would do better than you expected and all your hard work is paying off.
Post-grad depression is real, the loss of student identity lost IS REAL. Talking to friends and family makes me feel less alone but here is the unfiltered truth of it all.
After I graduated I didn't have no job lined up, scarce travel plans and all my friends are moving on (either further study or working) it is scary because I don't have a routine and ultimately it hit me I didn't have a purpose. I don't have no more deadline to work towards or commitments to uphold. In other words the bubble has well and truly popped.
I wish someone told me that uni was the easy part it is graduating which is the hardest part. Being in the bubble of education and the student identity from the day you was in Nursery and your next steps is already planned for you. A Levels was stressful but I chose subjects I enjoyed and with the knowledge of studying towards university but because I did four years in university I didn’t want to do a post-grad masters course so soon so I thought to take a year out because it will be a much needed break and you can easily find a job or something. Oh how wrong I was. I was waiting for my results
(disclaimer: Grades don't define me. Although society defines you by your grades I have never let grades define me. Partly because I know that I am better than my grades depict but also I have become instilled with trying my best regardless of the outcome.) For a while with all that dread and anxiety you get from doubting what you submitted and questioning did I even answer it correctly and because the staff were on marking strikes (just my luck right?!) But when results day came around and I opened it I first took a breath of relief that I passed (I did so much better than expected and got an overall grade that I was so proud of) so why did I feel numb I should be jumping up and down but I just felt nothing. I worked my a## of for this grade so why do I feel this way four years for this grade I should be shouting it from the roof tops so why do I not feel anything for it?
I guess looking back that grade highlighted the finality of it the confirmation that you are now a graduate. It meant that I am no longer in this education bubble. It meant it was up to me to figure things out and plan my next steps. And let me tell that is possibly the scariest thing for me, someone who likes to be in control. Someone who craves routine and deadlines... suddenly all gone. The next six months was me learning how to cope with this... but I learn that is okay... I needed time to process this loss but I also knew it was okay because this is the beginning of the pressures of adulthood. Graduating is a massive change and you loose your purpose and because there is no real defined path there was a LOT to figure out. So I needed to work out what was next.
Now six months after I graduating I am telling you the secrets people don't tell you. What they don't tell you is this uncertainty feeling is natural. Having your life planned for you or even knowing your next steps is a blanket of security so when that blanket is ripped away from you of course this feeling of anxiety and not knowing what is to come next is only natural. After talking to friends and family I decided to take a year of before I go into work or further study because they said this is where you will really learn about yourself. I needed some time to process my loss of student identity. Do I have FOMO from friends and other people (LinkedIn and other socials) moving on to further study or work of course I do. In fact I have it everyday but what I have over them is 'TIME'. Time to figure out what my next chapter is going to be. I am embracing this uncertainty (as much as I can) by doing things I couldn't really do freely with my uni schedule. Things like volunteering in organisations that I have an interest in. Learning what I want to. Listening to all those podcasts and reading all those books that the uni reading list eclipsed. I have learnt so much over the past four year and looking back I have changed so much too. I am journaling a lot and also looking over my diaries from the last few years and it just highlights how much I have grown and learnt. It is amazing to see how much I have learnt how much I value education.
These are the tips I wished I had six months ago:
A guide to overcoming the post-graduation blues.
- Embrace this uncertainty feeling because this is a chapter and a phase in your life which will pass.
- You don't have to have it all figured out. Take your time, explore new ventures and try out different paths explore this new identity of yours.
- Create new routines and deadlines to fill the void uni has left.
- Embrace the things you couldn't do whilst at uni- honestly it such a freeing feeling.
- Don't feel pressured to apply for jobs straight away, take the time really planning and thinking what it is you want to do next. Do work experience or volunteering.
- Read guilt free and binge watch guilt free because I can promise you- you didn't do this during uni (apart from when you were procrastinating).
-Re- connect with friends and family.
- Cook or knit or do an activity that challenges you and something that you have wanted to do for a while.
- Journal your highs and lows.
- Take some time for your body (and most importantly your mind) to recover. Eat healthy, exercise go for walks and enjoy nature- take pleasure in nature (this is possibly the biggest thing for my recovery).
- Slowly make it a once a week thing to find a job whether that be a part time job- internship or freelance- so your slowly trying out new things but also you will find a new routine and purpose.
- Self affirmations the biggest thing.
- Reminders of how far you have come (looking at graduation photo's to reading old journal entries) just feel, feel, feel because you have done yourself proud and your achievement and growth is amazing and worth celebrating.
- Honor that change is the only constant in your life and allow the process of transitioning to take its time because before you know it everything will fall into place.
- And finally, take all the time you need! Whether you want to embark on a Masters degree or want to work full time use the time to work out what you want to do and what your next steps is going to be. Remember you are in control and only you have the power.
Graduating comes with huge privilege and everyday I am so thankful nd grateful that I had an education and was able to get an education and also that I had such an amazing support system and finally that I can have time out to figure out what to do next. Some people don't have this so I am grateful for everything. Coming up to the new year I am embracing this uncertainty because I am manifesting that 2024 is going to be my year. I have worked so hard for the last four years so next year is going to be my time. (Or so I can dream). People ask are you finding a job or what you are going to do next and I am finally okay with saying I am taking some time out to figure it all out. I am so excited that I get to read and learn new things on my own terms and embrace all the unknowns. When I said we lose our student identity it is true to an extent because I believe we are a student for life because we are constantly learning. Remember this uncertainty is only a chapter in your life and this emptiness that follows graduation will pass, it is scary but embrace it and be familiar with it because it will pass. Embrace and feel and remember it is only just starting.
With Love and Dua's
Fiz @Every Page She Turns.
Link to social- https://linktr.ee/EPST
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